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October 29, 2006
Official Irish Dirt
They say its the luck of the Oirish, but this is sheer madness...........
I have heard of selling icecream to Eskimos and coals to Newcastle....even scrunchies to hatchet faced one parent baby breeders, but this tickled my sensibilities.
Two Irishmen, God love 'em are SELLING IRISH DIRT TO AMERICANS WHO WANT IT PLACED ON THEIR GRAVE.
I have heard that a coke habit is God's way of telling you you have too much money, but what does it say about Yanks prepared to pay £8.40 for a 12 ounce bag.
Now i have never bought dope, so i don't know how much this weight equates to, but this Celtic couple have just shipped their first load of muck....all £555,000 worth of it, to the U.S.A.
They say there is a sucker born every minute, (and my patrons would be grateful for that fact) so i wonder what the wild clamour of interest would be for my 'Irish misted undergarments'
Offers to the below address please.......L xxxx
Posted by Letitcia at 07:18 PM | Comments (1)
October 28, 2006
Kimi Raikkenen, you twit....
I loved Mika Hakkinen and his monosyllabic croak.....his fellow Fin, Kimi Raikkenen was even funnier.....but today of all days was beyond the pale......
This was our last chance to celebrate (like him or loathe him) the 'Rain Meister': Schummie of myriad F.1world titles fame.
The sublime Martin Brundle sidles up to Kimi for a soundbite, and to ask him why on earth he was not watching and honouring Micheal,while a presentation ceremony was in progress ----prior to the start of the last race of the season.
This is his reply: 'I WAS HAVING A SHIT'.
What an ungallent young man and bagsy to be the first person to hold him down and rinse his foul mouth out with carbolic soap.
He needs to learn some manners from both his elders and his betters..........
Posted by Letitcia at 07:09 PM | Comments (1)
October 13, 2006
Get yer tits out for the lads 2
'So you have finally put your prices up' was the message on my phone the other morning.
This was news to me.....(though i AM thinking about it!!).
I simply HAD TO INVESTIGATE!!!
I rang back the message leaver. He was a patron of longstanding, and having arrived in Brighton after 5 months of globe trotting (he is some kind of big shot)...he had sauntered to the North Laine area of Brighton.
'There i was, looking in the window of an art gallery....and your boobs winked out at me. I cannot leave you alone for a minute before you are up to all mannner of nefarious stuff'
What he meant was: I am featured as 'Face (and more besides) of Brighton' for a series of Avant Guarde portraits of people who STAND OUT.
This is very flattering, and i duly did the original photo shoot----standing in a piss stained, revolting smelling Bus Shelter.
HOW WE HAVE TO SUFFER FOR OUR ART!!!!
A WEEK BEFORE THE 'OPENING' OF THE PORTFOLIO-----THE PHOTOGRAPHER DECIDED THAT I SHOULD PRESENT A MORE GLAMOUROUS IMAGE.
Who am i to say no. We arranged for them to convene at Chez Letitcia.
The problem being, it was blowing up to Gale/Typhoon proportions---and i had to try and hold on to my chosen hat.
We decided to use my balcony as the site for the shoot.
Within 5 minutes, there was a honk, honk, honking of car horns...and a small but dedicated band of 'fans' standing on the pavement TAKING BLOODY SNAPS OF ME WITH THEIR MOBILE PHONES.
I was valiently holding onto my fur stole, hat and dignity......i mean, a bit of tit never harmed anyone hey what????
So i am occupying prime position (first thing(s) you see as you walk in the door)...and my price is £250 or 'price on application'
DON'T SAY YOU HAVE NOT BEEN WARNED LADS!!!!!
Posted by Letitcia at 09:39 PM | Comments (0)