Letitcia's Blog

She parried with a flustered 'don't threaten me' email, but then (presumably having made fraught calls (to other members) made another perfunctuary stab at civility

'Lets start again. It's not because of your threats but I realise I may have been rather hasty and some of my comments may have been hurtful to you.

That is not the kind of person I am, and I do not hold grudges either, hence, my invitation to you to forget the past and start anew.

You could give me your phone number so we could have a chat "face to face" as it were.

Otherwise, tell me a little bit more about yourself. Age, interests, hobbies, any children, grand children etc. This is what I ask all new ladies who show an interest to join.

I look forward to hearing from you'.

Regards

I decided to reply with the greatest of courtesy, and concluded with the words:

'It's not a biggie, I accept your decision (begrudgingly)....or maybe you can throw it open to the members to decide????'

NOW THAT WAS ONE MONTH AGO!!!!!
i have now made a decsion of my own.
To paraphrase Groucho Marx: I do not wish to belong to a club that would accept me as a member.

I mean, COME ON!!!!
I'm not asking for centre court tickets at the Wimbledon finals....nor backstage passes for The Monsters of Rock or Ozzfest.

I have decided to start my own.

THE GREY PUBE CLUB --------er, .......NO ......on second thoughts THE RED TWAT SOCIETY will not be run, or have a membership of judgemental bints.
This is the deal:
We will bear that particular moniker due to tireless pursuit of sexual pleasure.
Our twats will be red due to: WANKING, SHAGGING,LICKING, SPANKING-----and a cornacopia of neferious sexual activities.
Our lovers must be at least half, or (ideally) a third of our age.

This is where our experience counts.
We will seduce and educate the over 16 yr olds, who....lets face it...are sick to their blue bollocks of a perfunctuary lick on the tip of their bell end.
Us golden oldies know the drill, and we can administer the most replete deep throat this side of the black stump.

I related this tale of overt bigotry to a mate of mine.....saying that it originated in the USA--------
He said: 'Red NECK Society', more like........

Posted by Letitcia at 03:02 PM | Comments (0)

April 17, 2006

Semen sucking sisters

So i (single handedly) restored the 'cock confidence' of a dear patron....and what happens???

Yes, he goes out on the pull brimming.. nay.... bristling with newly invigourated testosterone he pulls a sweet li'l thang....and its on for young and old.

He declines the 'would you like a coffee' (good boy...i taught him well)...and fixes another date.
Cue a rendition of 'Tonight's the Night' by Rodders......and my student of seduction is away.

2nd date...back at her place....wine...music...'would you like a fuck?' (answered in the affirmative)...up the stairs....remember all i taught you boyo!!

Worship her body in every nook and cranny (give an extra 20 minutes if the body is of BBW proportions).
The orgasm arrives (and since i know he is brilliant..i assume she didn't fake it)
Now its his turn
He closes his eyes and waits for well earned RAPTURE.

He hits the ceiling!!!.....but not for the right reasons.
It is surely a bit of a pisser to end a date with half a roll of Andrex Super Soft wrapped round the 'old fella' and a modicum of A rhesus negative splatting on the bathroom floor.

SHE HAD BITTEN HIS COCK!!!!!!

Is it any wonder men speed dial 07774 697776....teeth displacement guarenteed........

Posted by Letitcia at 08:39 PM | Comments (0)

March 31, 2006

Hard Ons and Headaches at the Sydney Hilton.

'Letitcia, you have a 4 hours booking at the Hilton....we will ring a cab for you now'

Damn!!!.....i HATED outcalls, you never knew if the entire Paramatta footie team was hiding in the bathroom ready to pounce......

It was with a heavy heart that i set off to my imagined doom......

Pitt St ----Sydney, up the long ramp to the grey monolithic structure which was Sydney Hilton International,up the escalators, past the reception where they they give you the gimlet eye (or is it my imagination)........turn right to the lifts (pays to know where they are)...and to the penthouse (good sign).

When i say: HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA, you will know what i mean.

What a vision!! He looked like the winner of the annual Aussie Iron Man competition....the epitome of physical wholesomeness and triathlete honed athleticism....and his manners were inplausably (for an aussue male) impeccable.

'Please come in,..... can i get you some champagne,..... i bought you a present (beautifully wrapped choclates with a posy of flowers),....... take a seat and make your self comfortable, ......kick your shoes off, wow they are high, would you like a foot massage?' (Though in his own strangled accent)

These are the times when you ponder: 'I wonder what the poor people are doing right now?'

Now normally upon arrival at a hotel escort job, the first thing to do is a) ask to use the bathroom (so you can see the entire Aussie Rules Squad are not waiting to ambush you), and then ring back to base to let them know everything is ok...and that the job can commence from that time.

I was in flagrant breach of the prossie protocol...i was having such a spiffing time.
'Ken aye git youse a strawb to sling in thet possum' he asked in his broad Queenslander accent......
He most certainly could cobber, and we had a glass or three ..before the phone rang.
It was the Parlour wondering what had happened to me. I assured them everything was okay and went to phase two of the well oiled Modus: 'May i use your bathroom please?'

'Are youse sure yer don' wanna tinkle on ma tonsils bubbalah?' my cheeky dream date enquired.
I assured him the conventional method suited me just fine.

AND THERE IT WAS. Every cream, perfume, lotion -potion,accoutrement....that a self respecting WOMAN would wear.

BOLLOCKS!!!!

It could mean only two things.
I wasn't going to see my unborn children in his cornflower blue eyes....and there was an unspecified Sheila around.

'Er, i hate to beg the question....but i am assuming the paraphenalia in the bathroom is not yours....or your mother's' i mumbled with embarassment.
'Oh ya drongo teesha, it's me ball an' chain'
'And she is WHERE precisely?' i enquired
'SHOPPING!!!!'
'But not in town surely'
'Yeah'
'Did she say when she would be back' i asked with mounting panic
'Oh sheeel be ages, she's a reel dag for shoppin' prob'ly late arvo at least'

It was 12.30 and all thoughts of having a spiffing time and getting paid for it faded and in its place a major tension migraine arrived.

There is not a section in the Hooker's handbook which says: 'How to handle a potential disaster without having a contretemp with the tosser who created it'
Funny how one can go from wet vagina to angina.
The stress was KILLING me.
'Toss- -Testicles' was BLOODY GETTING OFF ON IT!!!!! The thought of BEING CAUGHT was making his pre cum seep through his moleskins.
I'm not supposed to nag my customers, but his jolly jape was endangering my health.
'Look, i can't relax...i'm waiting for the key in the door...i won't be able to come (he had indicated my pleasure was HIS pleasure)'
He made soothing noises and started to seduce me....and you know what...after a sustained and prolonged fabulous spot of frottage, my legs were akimbo and inviting the first of several earth shattering orgasms for the afternoon.
I felt so good i frankly DID NOT GIVE A GIRAFFE'S GENITALS for what would happen if his shopping sheila arrived back before i had earned not only a shit load of dollars but broken the record for girlie ghee expelled in a 4 hour period.
On this occasion, nothing untoward happened...but there have been many close calls, and one life threatening experience......

Stay tuned for examples of how men will jeopardise EVERYTHING for hot hussy and sweet poontang.......

Posted by Letitcia at 07:59 PM | Comments (1)

March 24, 2006

It's just a little prick sir

Aaaaahhhh, the first day of spring, at least that's how it felt perusing my Sunday Newspapers with a trusty cuppa on my sun drenched Balcony yesterday...........

So, scanning past the latest sleaze story for Mr Smear Blair, and the update of the body count in Iraq, the 'kitten in the tree' and 'doggie that does remarkable tricks' fluffy stories....and the ubiquitous shock horror from some celeb who needs to shift some records/books/tour tickets : 'MY BREAST/TESTICULAR/LUNG/BLOOD CANCER HELL.....and the omnipresent football scandal involving either inanimate objects or live human beings of either sex (though NOT the missus)....i saw a small news story.

German Prostitutes are being offered the OPPORTUNITY to retrain as......(wait for it) GERIATRIC NURSES

I tried every which way to assimilate this in my feeble brain, but could not for the life of me make the quantum leap from one profession to another.

The word: OPPORTUNITY bothered me as well!!!
What humourous hubris was this?
What in the name of a beaver's butt does one profession have to do with another??
That has got to be the most nutty 'noblesse oblige' i have ever seen.

I don't see them asking Damon Hill or Nigel Mansell if they would like to retrain as head honcho in an abattoir----or Micheal Johnson/Kelly Holmes if they would like to learn how to star in a Punch and freaking Judy show.
How about David Beckham becoming a WC attendant???

What a bloody cheek.

Opportunity?? Oh yes, all the Hamburg hookers will be snapping the beaurocrat's arm off with this kind offer, what a chance for career advancement, how terribly kind of the powers that be,....they will be sprinting to city hall like Flo Jo...'pick me.....bagsy I get to learn this spiffing trade.....if only i can be the lucky one!!!'

What utter tripe!!!

With all the years of experience that a Working Girl in ANY part of the globe has....you would think any 'retraining' might be, say: Psycology,Sociology, Physiology, Agony Aunt, Sex pundit, creative writing, certificate in reflexology, aromatherapy -----or some such area WHICH CORROLATES TO THE PREVIOUS POSITION HELD (no pun!)
But THIS IS PLAIN INSULTING.
Gee i bet the gels from germany are Mega happy to have hung up their G strings
After years of sucking cock and dicking around on a bed...you have to wipe OCTOGENARIAN ARSE???

Now THAT'S what i call a career advancement.......

Posted by Letitcia at 04:46 PM | Comments (0)

January 27, 2006

Tears of a clown

After a hard day of cock sucking............

........I used to go to a Kushiyaki bar within one of Sydney's finest Japanese resaurants: EDOESI, located just off Macleay Street.

The first taste of hot industrial strength Sake was like tinkerbell pissing on the tonsils of a parched pro.

I remember vividly my unchanging order.

Grilled Ox tongue (they would open a fresh pack for Letitcia-san)followed by beef tataki which was like 'a fuck in the mouth' and when i was feeling frisky: green tea ice cream.
The perfect end to a demanding day!!!!

The diminutive owner was Mr Hirohito (no relation)and one evening his mask of inscrutability fell and he invited me to have a drink with him as i finished my dessert.

He was in the middle of what can only be described as a Fujitsu Funk.
Think: Mr Miyagi in Karate Kid (1 11 or 111?) where he gets slaughtered on alcoholic beverages and gets really tearful about his dear departed wife.

Mr H was doing the same with monastary bells on.

The reason was this: He had read about a woman who had refused the authorities permission to switch off the life support for her son....who had been examined by a host of medical experts.
The opinion was unanamously to 'pull the plug'.

She refused

She visited her son every day....changed, washed, fed him...nurtured him...spoke to him as if he was alive...FOR 43 YEARS

One day she came in as usual...and there he was...sitting up smiling and saying 'hello Mum'

**chokes back tears at the memory******

What Mr H could not get to grips with was this: WHAT KIND OF FAITH DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE TO PERSUE A LIFE OF UTTER BARREN SELFLESSNESS.

He was Buddhist....yet he knew that he would not in any circumstance be able to keep the faith or in this case---BLIND FAITH.

'What kind of person can do this?' he implored me.
I knew a great honour was bestowed on me....to allow Letitcia -san to see his grief was the ultimate compliment.
'SHE MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DIRTY COCKROACH!!!' he spat in a banzai warrior call.

I read a news item today, which has reduced me to a similar state.
If pressed by intrusive questions, i will often state my 'ID' (my core and very being) is not so much enlightened, but centered.
I am fond of quoting 'HO'S (no pun) prison diary'...about 'the rice suffers under the pestle..blah bla...yadda bollocks and gonads'

But the reality is staring me in my tear stained face.

The parents of a son murdered by feral savages 'feel sorrow for them'...and to that end want to start a trust for...GET THIS: 'to educate deprived children'

GET OUTTA TOWN!!!!

I won't bore you, nor spend 30 minutes ferociously banging my keyboard....... with my outraged head.

I see that they are looking beyond the tragedy and making sense of why...and looking at social issues of 'well, maybe if they were shown love and had a job........'

I could NEVER FEEL THAT WAY.

I FEEL LIKE A COCKROACH.........

Posted by Letitcia at 09:39 PM | Comments (0)

December 12, 2005

Twisted Ankle and Twisted minds

I should never had ventured to the badlands of Central Brighton, 2 weeks before Christmas
The feeding frenzy had began in earnest.......

I always find myself people dodging...rather than the reverse, in fact i think i may experiment and walk in a straight line to see if they get the hell out of my space some time.

A triple baby buggy driven by a sink estate 'breeder' forced me off the narrow pavement....i missed my footing and down i indelicately went.

I was rendered immobile by a twisted ankle and did a spiffing impersonation of the Karate Kid trying to execute 'the crane'
A few fey and insincere people ventured to proffer assistance.
'You okay' they asked with fake concern...but they just kept on walking.

I tried to walk it off with limited or no success
By the time i staggered/limped up the staircase of Chez Letitcia...i knew i was in big trouble.

The mounting pain climbed to the zenith of 'shall i just drink the pain away or cart myself to casualty'

Rejecting the second non -option, i set about cancelling my prebooked appointments.
They were pretty good about it, considering that some had travelled by plane, rail and taxi from far flung destinations to be Body Worshipped in Brighton.

There is however, always one...and as the crescendo of agony climbed, and despite my explanation, a prebooked customer's voice told me:---------'YEAH BUT YOU CAN STILL SUCK CAN'T YOU?'

Welcome to goodwill toward your fellow service provider. Relegated to an it and a thing with no feelings, and judged as worthy of no regard.

I found the lack of care and compassion almost more painful than the injury itself. Is that what an engorged tool does to a man???

The fact is, the sooner a cyber sex doll, meeting inividual specifications is developed.....the better.

I recognise that even the patrons who, on the superficial surface, seem to be sweet and kind, can turn like a black snake if the moll cannot deliver.
In a punter's world, there is no room for human error,...... never get sick,..... never have an emergency......
After all, we are a sub species, and as if to prove the point i am up to speed within 3 days.

No ordinary mortal could achieve that.

Posted by Letitcia at 05:29 PM | Comments (0)

November 27, 2005

Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.

Another Champagne fuelled 'launch party', another photo opportunity--another hat,- corset,- jewell and fur ensemble for moi.

As it happens, i DID (in photo form) indeed make it to Front page in the Evening Argus.

And then my attention turned to page 2----------

They say 'loose lips sinks ships', so it is yet ANOTHER lesson learned.

A snide of gargantuan proportions sidled up to me, and i am afraid i allowed pride (though not boastfulness) to impart to the weasel my forthcoming endeavours.

I told him about an article i had submitted to a local rag, and i was excited about the prospect of it not only being published----but of maybe my own column coming out of it.

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb....Have i learned NOTHING in this life??
I had the sense that he was mightily interested in the subject matter, and,..... TOO LATE....i was caught in a fervent flurry of phone calls and Emails.

'Look' i pleaded 'you cannot use this!!'

He pressed on with his own agenda and said in the most oleagenous way it would be 'helpful' if i could supply him with a document which would help him write a News Story.
'Look' i begged 'you cannot use this!!!!'

Undaunted he kept up the daily flurry of contact in his inate greasy style.
'Look' i cajoled 'you cannot use this...you will be stealing my thunder'
I told him i would inform him the minute i knew when MY article was going to press.
I knew this information a few days later.
'Look' i demured 'you cannot use this until THAT date....after which time, i will give you all the info you need'

'IT'S OKAY' he lied 'I'M WORKING ON THE 'FRIENDS CENTRE''

Two days later: A MESSAGE ON MY VODAPHONE VOICEMAIL
'Hi there, this is ****** press agency, would you like to comment about the story in today's newspaper, our number is.....'

WHITE IRISH FURY SET IN AND THE MIST OF MURDEROUS IMPULSES WRAPPED ITSELF TIGHT AROUND MY INDIGNANT SEETHING BODY.

Thrice the cock crowed and like the slimeball Judas that he was (and i imagine, still is)he denied/lied/ obfuscated.

I rang the press agency and with mounting horror i realised that he had attributed some soundbites and quotes---TO ME!!!!!
On many occasions friends and aquaintances have counselled: 'THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY'--to that i say: BOLLOCKS-----IT'S BAD IF IT IS A TOTAL LIE OR EVEN INACCURATE.

My trembling fingers punched out the telephone number of the pile of rancid DNA that serves as this REPORTER.
'ROWAN DORE HERE'****issues disclaimer*** (i use the name since it is already in the public domain)

'You did the piece' i spluttered.
In the most sticky ectoplasmic way he slimed me with an indolent, nay, INSOLENT: 'YEEAAAAHHHH'
Silence hung in the air like an unused lapdancer's pole.
'But' i choked pathetically 'you PROMISED ME!!!!'
'I was under pressure' was his rejoinder'
'HAVE YOU NO SOUL?' I practically sobbed. 'Do you have different molecules to other human beings----do you have NO code of conduct or ethics?' i screamed rhetorically.

'AAAAhhh, I GET INTO TROUBLE FOR THIS KIND OF THING ALL THE TIME'

And he wore those words like a badge of honour.

IT'S OPEN SEASON ON JOURNALISTS AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, so remember gentle men, if in the course of conversation (before i drag you to my lair) the subject of your profession arises---and if you are indeed of the above persuasion, if you could kindly do me a favour and...........LIE!!!!! You know it makes sense...your very survival depends upon it!!!!!

****PostScript to above story*******: THE REPORTER IN QUESTION WAS FOUND DEAD AT HIS HOME A FEW DAYS AGO....THERE ARE NO SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES. ****Issues yet another disclaimer**** i was 200 miles away at the time of his demise.

I've heard of 'Karma' but this is ridiculous.

Posted by Letitcia at 04:51 PM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2005

The E.U rides again

It's 3 in the morning and you hear the tinkling of broken glass----what do you do?
Ring 999?------

------well actually NO.
Those meddlesome munters who are Masters/Morons of all they survey, have decided we in the U.K should all conform and be in line with what they have enforced in a few other countries that make up the European Union.

In one's fright, panic,terror and hysteria.... you must remember to dial 112.

Great. First we have the straight banana, uniform size of vegetables---and now this.

This is how the sex industry will be affected. (Don't laugh but they are indiously creeping into every area of our lives and THEY MUST BE STOPPED.)

Enter: A PATRON. I ask:

'Can i get you something to drink---water, fruit juice-----?'
'Got any alcohol?'
'cannot serve you any i'm afraid---EU. DIRECTIVE'.
'huh?'
'If you fall, i'm not covered for Accident Insurance if you have imbibed anything of an alcoholic nature'

Progressing to the Boudoir:

The patron makes to lie down on the bed.
'You cannot lie there i'm afraid---EU DIRECTIVE'
'what?'
'The bed is less than 4 feet from a gas boiler and therefore possible noxious emissions---nope, we just have to lie on the floor in the hallway'

In the home straight of a fabulous bit of fallatio:
I pause and stop;
'For fuck sake Letitcia, i was just about to come!!'
'Sorry,you have used up the requisite number of sucks------------- E.U DIRECTIVE'
'What are you going on about?'
'Britian spends more money in the NHS on neck and back injuries, therefore more than 100 nods of the head is deemed to be dangerous'

'Can i have a 69 then?'
'That's been abolished'
'Don't tell me...it's an EU DIRECTIVE right?'
'Yeah,...it's now an 88'
'But that's TWO FAT LADIES in a Bingo Hall!!'
'That has been abolished altogether.....it's sizeist and discriminatory'
'And 'legs eleven?'
'also disbanded--due to the hurt feelings of those without the requisite number of legs'

'What about abit of B&D or S&M???
'They have been remamed C of E and T in N'
'But C of E stands for Church of England!!'
'Not any more, too many people catching colds in draughty old churches---too much of a drain on the health service----numbers were dwindling anyway'
E.U DIRECTIVE
'What does T in N stand for then?'
'You will have to refer to paragraph 43 subsection 3---- (part 1V)---though i think it has something to do with Tienneman Square'
'BUT I WANTED THIS TO BE A MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE'
'Stand still with your legs apart then Sir'
****Letitcia uses her might and kicks Patron in his testimonials****
Crumpled in pain he gasps: 'What the fuck did you do that for??'
'Because it's something you won't forget in a hurry'
'Dial 999!!!!'
*****Kicks him in the bollocks again****

'IT'S SODDING WELL 112!!!!'

Posted by Letitcia at 05:17 PM | Comments (0)

October 12, 2005

Frigid Women

I wrote the following in my book: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FRIGID WOMEN----ONLY INEPT MEN.

I HAPPENED TO SEE A PROGRAMME LAST NIGHT.

It was 'sex doctors' or something or other...designed to tittilate, shock and amuse i guessed.

This poor bloke thinks he's 'givin' it large...in multiples'---and his star- struck T.V whore of a cupie doll decided it would be so spiffing to deliver the bad news to Mr Loverman whilst we all looked on in mounting horror.

I really felt for the guy, and i could understand his less than supportive stance: 'i'm all right jack (i can come whenever i want) so it's up to her. OUCH!!!!
I would also (if i was him) wonder what ELSE she was lying about.
I mean, that is about the biggest lie in a man's life....

Most verbal parting shots ( when a relationship ends badly)are the along the lines of: "YOU'RE A DUFF SHAG, YOU NEVER EVEN GOT CLOSE TO MAKING ME WET, YOU COULDN'T GIVE A VIBRATOR A HARD ON......AD NAUSEUM" ----a nanosecond before slamming and splintering the front door from it's hinges.

Those words wound us to the core, ....and that goes quadruple for the ego of the man----since dick and man are, more often than is sane, inexorably welded together.

I thought for a guy to be held up as WORST LOVER IN THE UNIVERSE, that he was very stoic----or was it because he wanted to get his butt seen on the tube?
In which case, it was NEVER worth the ridicule.

Posted by Letitcia at 01:02 PM | Comments (0)

October 06, 2005

The Tricia Goddard Show (they think we will swallow anything!!!!!)

I would like to confirm that the Tricia Goddard programme would like to book you for an interview.......(Townhouse t.v Channel 5).....

..well 'whooopy do' you may think.....WRONG

Here follows an email that i sent to the producers today........

Greetings, to say i was somewhat perplexed and bemused by the outome of the telephone conversation with **** yesterday, would be an understatement too far.

I admire her bravery.....it could not have been an easy call to make.

To segue from what i (erroneously) assumed would be something even remotely and tenuously linked to the sex industry----to family disputes----words (for once)fail me.

Like i said to *****: 'are you kidding me or what?'

I have no way of knowing if this was your intention all along, or whether the planned show fell through. ***Authors Note***i know what i ****ing well think!!!!!

I was non plussed to be asked to provide a family member (who would supposedly not agree with what i was doing)

From the lengthy conversations i have had both with yourself and ***** you both know only too well this is NOT the case...and i would NEVER be complicit in trying to provide that----simply to make an appearance on the 'goggle box'!!

Then to be asked (at 48 hrs notice)to provide various people from the sex industry was somewhat insulting.

Had i been given enough time (our original communication was aeons ago)...i can think of some cracking characters who could have provided lively debate.
But then, these same people would not want to be misrepresented and manipulated.
I think the general public got wise to this with Vanessa Feltz.... ****i should have put EXPOSE******

I may not be stupid but i am ignorant and naive with regards to Television. Not any more though!!!!!
It has been an expensive lesson.
I will swallow my not inconsiderable loss of earnings along with feeling like a chuffing idiot.

regards
Letitcia: Erotic Service Provider and author of the book BODY WORSHIP.

Posted by Letitcia at 12:19 AM | Comments (1)

October 01, 2005

A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum

"Are you still here, you cum splattered dog whore?"

And no, it wasn't a witheld phone-call......... nor a stupid text.

It was written/directed toward my good self, on the public forum of my provincial Newspaper: The Argus. It was also one of a number of muppet's opinions.

Now get this---they (the moderators) suspend or drum people out of the forum for making anti WHATEVER statements about religion/colour/ creed/sexuality...and to boot, anything inciting hatred...... but it's okay to call me that???

Naturally they (the odure throwing dissenters) are faceless munters who hide behind their very anonimity.
They have the luxury of knowing my profession/vital statistics/age/ and a comprehensive visual via my web site.

Not unsurprisingly, they hide behind e-commerce---they never venture to Forum meets/piss ups (which i, on the other hand HAVE-----TWICE)----they never give anything away about themselves with regard to name- rank -serial number-status-nor even gender or sexual orientation.

They are 'bottom feeders' who survive on trawling for the plankton/information of other forum members.
The Web is a perfect environment for these non entities, and whilst my right hand screamed:'MAKE LIKE NORMAN BATES IN PYSHCO AND KILL THE RUDE OBNOXIOUS TUBS OF SILAGE'------i typed measured, calm, incisive responses to the vitriol emanating from a secret place.

I like to think that i made them look like a boil on the anus of humanity.

Posted by Letitcia at 10:57 PM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2005

Sex workers revolt

According to, shall we say a: 'HIGHLY PLACED SOURCE IN THE FIELD OF JOURNALISM'........

....i am reviled and hated.......by Sex Workers locally.

WHY??

Because they feel i have: 'gotten away with it' (i do not offer penetrational congress)

So much for the togetherness and the cammeraderie of the 'sisterhood'

They can all lick my left one.....

Posted by Letitcia at 11:06 PM

September 15, 2005

Prejudice

So the Army was recruiting at EUROPE'S BIGGEST GAY FESTIVAL---(they waved their handbags and cried: CCOOOooooeeeeeee!!)
Manchester Pride...and the appearance of both male and female soldiers were 'the first at a 'HOMOSEXUAL EVENT' according to the papers

HA!!!!

The taboos are crumbling very slowly---except in one very glaring compartment-----PROSTITUTION.

Much of the problem stemming from the fact that Sex workers are not as well organised as say: Peter Tatchell---who mobilised the Gay masses to say it loud and very proud.

And a grand job they have done too.

We have no figure head (and thank you for asking, but i have my hands full enough as it is)--and the very thought of throwing a Prossie Pride march/event is beset with the age old problem.

Nobody----OR VERY FEW would come---(no pun).

Sex workers don't want to be 'outed'---they fear it would be damaging to themselves, family---friends and that they would be shunned by the community.

What utter baloney.
It's our own thought processes and perceptions that hold us back.
My own experience has been absolutely the reverse----i am a 'well loved woman'---i have encountered nothing but kindness and consideration---encouragement and unstinting support.

Perhaps some of the other inmates of the industry should put their faith in the universe---

I think they would be pleasantly surprised.

Posted by Letitcia at 02:36 PM

August 29, 2005

Three strikes----and you'll see my hand

As my essex mate Harry would say: 'you're 'avin' a larf aincha?'.....

According to the Sunday Newspapers..children...yes, CHILDREN at a secondary school, will be allowed to say the word 'FUCK'---not once, not twice and nay thrice-------FIVE MOTHERFUCKING TIMES.
(I'm swearing to emphasise the point)
And THAT is in the class room...to a bloody teacher!!!

After which time, you will be given a stern talking to.

You know what? I cannot wait to 'kick the bucket' and depart this mortal coil.

I simply cannot bear this erosion of standards.

I would not relish meeting the emproduct of this little exercise on a dark dank night.
In my day, (yes i said those words---which brands me as ancient)....to even THINK about being cheeky to authority, would bring the entire weight of the universe apon one's right to live.

Where has it all gone so horribly wrong??

In MY domain, these are the (unspoken) rules.

DO AS YOU'RE TOLD AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT
ONLY SWEAR IF WE HAVE AN AGREED FANTASY GOING ON BEFOREHAND
BE RESPECTFUL AT ALL TIMES.
Failure to comply means an untimely demise, and you will never be BODY WORSHIPPED by me again.
It's that simple.
No moving of goalposts to include ingrates
No ifs ands or buts.
Do as you are told/behave yourself---or you are toast.
After all, this code of ethics/conduct has stood me in good stead.

I am avowed as being a nice person, a good citizen, a great friend, a sweet woman, a kind daughter, a loving mate and a caring human being.

I just wish i lived in a universe of ME

Posted by Letitcia at 08:24 PM

August 07, 2005

Two Box Odessey (part 2)

I know i said i was going to leave them amongst the soggy discarded take away wrappers of Brighton Pride---

But i am a Tart with a Heart after all----

They get to do the trifecta, the whole enchilada---and rack up much road miles

My books--or what's left of them---are now: IN PIGGING MANCHESTER.
If i cannot get a mate----who happens to have relocated there from Brighton (though via London)---

Yep, you guessed it---on the van from Manchester to London through to Bournemouth and BACK to Brighton.

In fact i think they know the route so well, they could hop on the van itself .......THIS WILL RUN AND RUN

Posted by Letitcia at 06:00 PM